Food stuffs, Savory stuffs

Food review #9

Cows are good. They make milk for cream and butter. They’re made of beef. They’re also apparently inspiration for flavors like cow tongue. Yum.

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Gyu Tan Umaibo – Cow Tongue

Trust me – a random internet stranger – they sound worse than they really are. These are a puffed corn snack that tastes like someone just marinated it in A1 steak sauce. Hm. Maybe advertising isn’t my forte.

The Good

Despite almost everything about it, these are good. They’ve got the texture of Funyun Onion Rings, all airy and puffy, and the nice sweet and sour flavor of the beloved A1 steak sauce. The taste is the kind of taste that you’ll want to keep shoveling into your mouth even though you’re disgusted by the flavor.


The Bad

You know how I just said that these have the texture of Funyuns? They’ve also got that horrendous smell. No, these are way worse. Your breath is going to be rancid. Absolutely rancid. Also if you tell any of your friends what the flavor is, you can say “bye-bye” to their respect for you (if any).


The Neutral

My rat tried to bite my finger off because he thought it was so good.
Silly rat.


Verdict?

Ignoring the looks, smell, and name, they’re good. I mean, you’d have to hide from any acquaintances if you even want to try these, and you don’t want to be anywhere near another human for a few hours after you’ve eaten one, but if you’re an isolated shut-in, these are perfect for you!

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